In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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