It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
