I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
