and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
