I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
