return my video game
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
