How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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