six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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