youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
