If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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