Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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