is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
