would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
