Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
