i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
