yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
