i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
