remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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