is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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