I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
