He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
