No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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