oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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