remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
