There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
