she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
