so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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