What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
