he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
