Only a mothe r could love this liver
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
