all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
