dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
