why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
