I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
