another moral hangover. fuck.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize