Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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