after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I pour the whiskey from now on
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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