Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
