I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Found the puke drawer
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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