I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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