We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
