i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize