I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
