quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
