its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
