i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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