let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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