She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
