Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
