I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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