she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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