you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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