So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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