u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
