i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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