woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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