Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
