No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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