so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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