Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Panties = found
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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